Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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