if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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