wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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