I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
