omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
