Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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