I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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