yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
