Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
