OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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