What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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