I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
