Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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