i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize