I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
