After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
