Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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