just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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