and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have fence marks all over my body
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
