why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
