You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
