Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
