We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
