So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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