I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
