There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
