I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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