Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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