Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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