So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
