I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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