I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I have post one night stand depression
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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