so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
is that a dick in a sweater?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
