never play flip cup with pint glasses
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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