Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
