my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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