ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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