Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
