i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
