you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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