if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
