It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
