I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
