Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
