I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just want nice things and good sex
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
