You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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