thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
