Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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