we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
