Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
