I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
