i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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