So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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