Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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