fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
this will be a night to untag.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
