like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
