Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
