He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
two words...techno handjob
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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