just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
