i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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