On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
