fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
