Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
