weddingsv make me drug and hornr
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
